Tuesday, 13 February 2018

Being a Housewife can be Lonely


When I first moved in with B, I felt really lonely being at home all day on my own. I never knew when B was going to get back from work (farm life is quite unpredictable sometimes) and I was spending hours on my own in silence.

It was a lot of hours on my own in, at the time, a strange place. I'm glad I moved in around April time, as if I have moved in just before winter I think I would have gone mad. Moving in the Spring meant I could go out into the garden at least, even if the chickens did used to spend all their time in next-doors garden. I could take a chair outside in the afternoons and sit in the sun for a bit.

I was also homesick. Not for the house I'd lived in before, but for Spain. I wanted the sun and the sea, the heat. The winter before I moved in was my first winter in the UK for about 12-13 years. It felt like it had gone on forever, and I was really missing the sunshine. Add that to the paranoia and anxiety of being in a new place, and I did feel low for a while.

I got to see B every day though, and the time I got to spend with him more than made up for the comparatively few hours in the day that I didn't see him. I managed to figure out how to use the TV, and set myself up on Spotify. It was only a few months after moving in that I started a blog! It wasn't this one that you're reading now, but it was somewhere for me to talk about things and share what I was feeling.

Blogging became a big part of my day, alongside housework and bird-keeping. I slowly started to know more about where I was, and I could say where I lived and actually know where in the UK that was. I met Jade and had someone to talk to. I started to feel less and less lonely, and I started to enjoy the alone time. I was able to do my own thing, like blogging, and I started to teach myself to cook too.

What you can do to stop feeling so lonely

It will take some time to adjust, especially if you're in a situation like me where you've just moved or something big has changed, but you can definitely help yourself not feel so lonely.

Listen to the radio, music, have the TV on in the background. I started listening to podcasts, Spotify, or even just having a film or tv show on in the background helped me feel like I wasn't as alone in the house.

Take up a hobby. I started blogging, and found it incredibly helpful to be off in my own little world, writing and talking to others online. You could do anything, crafting, knitting, crochet, gardening, etc.

Teach yourself something new! I learnt to cook (and I'm still learning), but you could teach yourself anything. Making jams is something I want to do, chicken husbandry is very interesting, especially when you get to know more about the eggs and what is what (like a fairy egg!)

Get a pet. I'd recommend a dog as they're pack animals and will enjoy company. If you can, adopt rather than buy a dog. We adopted Kobi in early 2017, and he's our best friend! Getting a dog, or any pet, is a big responsibility and requires a lot of dedication, so think about this one long and hard before you go to look at any!

Have you any tips for not feeling so lonely? Please share!