Thursday, 11 January 2018

Don't always say Yes, it can be just as bad as always saying No


Over the last four or five years I've found myself always saying yes to people. No matter what they want, whether it be a babysitter, a dog-sitter, a house-sitter, someone to go out for a walk with, and favors of various kinds (no, not that kind) when I really just want to say no.

In the last couple years, I've found myself saying yes to stop arguments and pettiness. I'd say yes to pretty much anything people asked me to do. The worst part? It was for people who didn't like me, and people I didn't like. They took advantage of the position I was in -feeling like I couldn't say no- and would usually give me a "Because if you don't, it would be awful for us..." speech before I even had time to react.

I felt like I couldn't say no to these people, because they made it quite an intimidating thing whenever they asked something of me. If it seemed like I was saying no in any way, it would start an argument. I've had snarky remarks and they've started problems with other people because of it. I've felt really low and at times hearing my phone go off when I've been expecting a call or message off of them has made me even more anxious.

Well, a big part of my New Years resolutions is to stop letting other people walk over me and remove anyone and anything that makes me sad. So, no. No I don't want to babysit every day for three months. No I don't want to go walk about in the rain and cold for an hour or more just so you have someone to bitch to about everyone else you don't like. No, I don't want to hang out and listen to how much you hate your in-laws and how unfair it is that someone else has more kids than you.

As I mentioned, part of my resolutions this year is to remove anyone or anything that doesn't make me happy. Saying Yes all the time and doing stuff I don't want to do obviously doesn't make me happy, so I'm not going to do it anymore.

I started telling people No just before Christmas, which has meant I've not seen certain people for Christmas or New Year, and to be completely honest it's been so refreshing. I've felt free to do what I want, and I've had more time for the people and things that do make me happy.

I know a lot of people say you have to say Yes more, but remember to keep a balance. Say Yes to the things you actually really do want to do, and don't be afraid to say no to the things that you really don't want to do. You'll find that the people who do deserve your Yes's won't mind when you say No. If they care that much about you saying No and not doing what they want you to do without a thought about you and your situation, then they don't deserve your Yes.