Wednesday, 6 December 2017

I'm Judged for Being a Housewife?


Hey everyone! It's Blogmas Day 6 and I'm still really enjoying it! It's still early on and it's definitely a job to write, edit, and publish every day, but I'm glad I didn't let my failed attempt at Blogtober stop me from trying out Blogmas!

Anyway, I've tried to talk about me being a housewife and the comments I get quite a few times, but I've found it very hard to find the words. This time though, I think I've kind of managed it!

"It doesn't work like that anymore!"

For anyone wondering, I'm a housewife - but with jobs at home. Not that I should have to explain myself, and at the end of the day either you agree with Stay at home mums and housewives or you don't, but I fill my days with caring for our chickens, our dog, the house, and making sure my partner eats enough food to fill the calories he burns while on the farm. 

The decision for someone in a relationship, whether it be the man or the woman, to stay at home is one that's generally quite an important discussion and isn't taken very lightly. Personally, I was unemployed due to my mental health when I first met my other half, and from there we realized that it works better for us for me to be at home. Yes, we'd have more money if we both had jobs, but we wouldn't be able to enjoy our home as much as we do and we wouldn't be able to keep the animals we have rescued.

I say this because I've received comments, mainly from people who know me personally, that "it doesn't work that way anymore" or "don't you want your own money?". Every single question that you could come up with, has been thought through and answered well before we committed to this lifestyle and if our circumstances change, then so will our lifestyle. The longer people think about my situation and compare it to their own, the funnier the remarks get.

"You must live off credit cards!"

"How do you expect to have kids with no money?"

"They only pay you £20 or less for a child you know."


I obviously mean no malice if these things do affect someones life, but I find it a little off for those who are in a completely different situation both in where their responsibilities lie and financially, to judge our situation based off of their own. If that makes sense? A family with 3+ children, quite possibly wouldn't be able to have a stay at home parent, but I don't have children so it wouldn't apply to me, for example.

I have also found that these comments tend to come from those who were housewives themselves, and have found themselves having to get a job for one reason or another. This could quite be the reason why I'm under such scrutiny about it all, but either way I don't think it's fair to judge each other, based on anything.

This post probably reads quite angrily or a little passive aggressive, but I didn't intend it to be originally haha! I see it a lot about Youtubers and Bloggers too. It seems to be that if you're too traditional, it's bad, and if you're too modern it's also bad! 

 As a society we need to focus more on uplifting and helping each other, rather than letting the green eyed monster take over and trying to spoil things for others or forcing people to think like us. Let people do they want to do, and if it's a mistake? Then they will learn from it and grow from it. But don't assume that just because something is a mistake for one person, that it's a mistake for everyone.